Authentic Leadership

Dear all,

The idea of the true self and authenticity has stayed with me over the last 2 weeks. This time in the context of leadership rather than a spiritual perspective as I was preparing for a client assignment and did some telephone coaching, discovering someone’s leadership vision.

Knowing yourself, being yourself and disclosing yourself have always been important foundations for effective leadership, reinforcing the concept and necessity of self mastery. However, what really struck me this time as I was reading through books and reflecting on my own personal experiences in organizations is the degree of “sureness” about themselves that leaders seem to have when it comes to their origins, principles / values, personality and vision. In essence, they know what they stand for and what legacy they want to leave behind without questioning or wavering.

Effective leaders know who they are, where they came from and the relationship between the two. They are firmly grounded, mobile, comfortable with oneself, show vulnerability and are able to operate outside their comfort zone & seek feedback. They are masters in perseverance and managing relationships with others based on what the situation requires – sometimes it is intimacy, sometimes it is distance, sometimes it is “tough love”. They are also good situation sensors in the first place and know how to connect the dots (strategic thinking).

In the book “Why should anyone be led by you”? by Rob Goffee & Gareth Jones that I have been reading, the core message is that leadership needs followers and followers want to know:
1. What is special about you that I should follow you?
2. What are your unique traits?

Therefore authentic leaders are those who:
a. Align action with stated values
b. Share personal shortcomings
c. “Show up” consistently and appropriately in different situations
d. Let themselves be known on a personal level beyond title or role

In addition, they are able to give to followers what they need:

1. Community – all about building effective teams where unique talents are recognized and leveraged for overall performance, synergy & growth

2. Authenticity – as described above

3. Significance – providing employees with the line of sight between their contributions and the goals of the organization; giving personalized feedback; recognizing people’s contributions

4. Excitement – passion, conviction, celebrations that spur the team to higher levels of performance


Is that always easy? Sure it is not, but the point here is that since they know themselves so well and do not question their core and calling, they are able to focus on the things that really matter and have the strengths to overcome challenges and obstacles in a way that allows people around them to have the confidence in themselves to contribute and be the best they can be.

The question I would like to ask this week is: “what can we learn from authentic leaders, even if we are not in an “official” leadership position? To some extent we all play the role of leaders from time to time, in the family, in relationships, in our community or in the form of self-leadership.

Allow me to offer you some of my own learning’s and reminders:

1. Embracing who we are– no matter our backgrounds, life history or painful experiences. They made us to who we are today and we are perfect - always. That doesn’t mean to be stuck in the ego and narcissistic powers (that a lot of leaders carry), but rather coming from a place of love where we are consciously focused on our unlimited nature and wholeness.

2. Getting clarity on our vision, purpose and values and know how we translate them into action. Enacted values are key, if we do not walk the talk or embody our principles, what can we expect from our followers? If we do not have a vision and a purpose, we will be searching as many others do and we will not be able to catalyze focused action.

3. Shifting the strategies, but not the goalpost – it refers to staying true to the goals we have set out to achieve despite the day-to-day performance pressures we are under.

4. Having faith and persevere – real leaders show faith in themselves, in their people and organizations they work for. It means we see obstacles as opportunities for learning and growth and we understand that everything happens for a reason. It also requires placing our attention and intention on the things we want to create for the greater good and in the spirit of service.

5. Nurturing our core – it means knowing where we can retreat to in order to rebalance and inspire ourselves again. It requires taking time out on a regular basis to contemplate and recharge the batteries.

As you think about your own ideas on authenticity & leadership, ask yourself today:
1. What does leadership really means to me?
2. When have I been in a leadership position that really fulfilled me?
3. What excites me as a leader? What am I passionate about when leading?
4. What values & principles do I embody as a leader?
5. What do I truly want to stand for as a leader?
6. How do I want to be remembered? What legacy do I want to leave behind?
7. How can I be of service to others through the leadership practices I offer?
8. What do I need to bring my leadership to the next level?

The answers are already within you, allow them into your consciousness today.

Be well,
Vanessa

The True Self

Dear all,

In my last blog we explored different “Ego-personalities” (EPs) and how they can affect our BEING and judgment in certain situations. Today I would like to move beyond our personality and look closer at the question of “Who am I” or “Who are we” for that matter.

It is such a profound question that has always been at the heart of spirituality and yet we seem to have difficulty answering, accepting and embodying it in our earthly lives.

For me in particular, the question of identity and purpose is an essential one. I am an Enneagram type 4 (with a 5 Wing), the Individualist and one of the type’s primary drivers is the search of identity while its basic fear is not having any significance. Therefore one of things 4’s do is to overuse imagination in search of self. The type’s saving grace is its high level of self-awareness and its sensitive, intuitive personality if the emotions are kept in balance. 4s operate from their feelings. Their challenge is to go beyond their emotional states and recognize that their true self is more than their momentary feelings. Their key lessons to learn are about balance, focus, discipline, independence and how to be themselves without having to compare themselves with others.

Knowing and reflecting on these characteristics have helped me to manage myself better, yet it has not taken my yearning away from finding my true self which is the fuel of my spiritual search.

What is the true self?
I see the true self as our soul-level identity, our realization that we are connected to something larger than ourselves. It implies going beyond our essential aloneness and free ourselves from the ego and the apparent duality of the individual and world to the bliss of the one real nature.

The true self can never be found outside of us, but only inside of us. And that’s where sometimes the practical challenges lies. If we really want to be free, we have to discover what is within us and let go of whatever is found and binds us to the false idea that we are somehow incomplete (as proclaimed by the EGO), only then the true self will reveal itself and liberty will follow naturally.

I believe that we all are actually yearning for this revelation to take place in our lives. Since this is the only way to true peace, happiness and freedom.

The true self is therefore our soul endowed with full spiritual powers where the SELF ultimately reveals itself as pure energy and pure consciousness.

Practical realities
The reality is that understanding the concept of a “true self” and its spiritual connection, is not the same as being able to live it. And sometimes I think if I would already to be able to do it fully, maybe my job and purpose of being on earth would be finished and I could return to source.

The challenges we face are partly rooted in our concept of duality. We often see our life as being this, or as not being that. In search of approval of others, we compare our lives and accomplishments to others and start to wonder of who we really are. And if we do not compare ourselves to others, the inner critic (an “EP”) will make sure that we do a comparison to the inner standards we have created for ourselves (fed by social conditioning and past experiences).

But if we start comparing “who I am” to someone or something else, are we not the subject of whatever it is we have compared ourselves to (and hence it is an egoistic endeavor)? And how could we even know for sure what we are seeing in others is reality and not only a fragment of reality or a stream of impressions and thoughts? And where would constant comparing lead us to anyways? There will always be people that have more, are more successful, more mature, wiser or simply more beautiful than we are.

The ego lives through comparison and attachment to things. It identifies with “having”, with the physical manifestations, form and structure. This is why we hang onto physical possessions as they give us a feeling of permanence and stability. However, this is an illusion. Buddhists always talk about the importance of letting go of our attachment to things, to achieve true enlightenment and end suffering. The concept I am introducing here is based on the same principle.

If having more & more and being successful in society’s terms does not lead us closer to our truer self, what does?

How can we move towards a “Truer Self”? As humans we have 3 basic capacities that are linked to our dimensions of being in this world:
1. To Know -> Mind -> Mind Consciousness (Mind)
2. To Love -> Heart -> Emotional Consciousness (Soul)
3. To Will -> Body -> Body Consciousness (Body)

Those capacities are interconnected and make up our “whole self”. I believe that our life task is to work on all of these capacities to be able to progress towards a true self. If we have an egoic mind (a mind-made self comprised of thought and emotion) our basis for identity is precarious. Having our minds developed to a soul-stage level (by integrating head & heart) we realize that we can go beyond mental constructs, logic and reality and operate from a higher authentic, unified, visionary, autonomous and intuitive place.

This place is actually always available to us, if we seek it and cultivate it in us. It is this place where the soul speaks which only happens if we become still and clear the clutter in our minds.

Meditation is therefore one of the best ways to get in touch with this place as it allows us to practice mindfulness and detachment.

Besides meditation, I also believe that the following practices can get us closer to our true self:

1.Developing self-awareness through regular reflections, journaling, intimate discussions with friends, loved ones or even a Coach

2.Transforming motivation – freeing oneself from addictions and cravings and committing to higher goals

3.Taking control of negative emotions and cultivating love and gratitude

4.Being of service to others – feeling good by doing good and by turning work into service

5.Practicing Being Present through active listening, physical awareness, focus and by being one with nature

I am sure there many more ways to get closer to our true self and certainly one could introduce specific practices that belong to each of the mentioned areas above.
For the readers who wanted practical, short-cut answers to how to find our true selfs, I apologize. The reality is that awakening to our infinite selfs may be at the very heart of our earthly experience. What we can do is to use every day to take little steps into the right direction.

For me Coaching is not only the way I have chosen to give service to others, but it also teaches me a lot about my own self-awareness, the need of being fully present and being able to connect to my higher self.

Every Coaching experience is therefore actually a step towards my connection to my true self beyond my mental self-construct of who I am or who I want to be.

That is also true the other way round, every Coaching session for my clients is an opportunity reflect on their thoughts, emotions and physical sensations around a particular issue they are dealing with. And sometimes it so happens, that the clients allow themselves to tap into their inherent soul-level wisdom as part of the process. And every time that happens, I know that we both just became a bit truer to ourselves and have claimed part of our freedom.

“And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” – John 8:32

Love & Blessings,
Vanessa