Dear all,
This is my official 3rd blog entry after establishing Flow & Balance in Sep 2009 and it seems I am getting used to my fortnightly reflections which I have posted at every other Monday. It really allows me to reflect on what has happened, what moved me, what progress did I make and perhaps also where did I get stuck.
I am actually quite new to experimenting with different mediums like the blog, newsletter and article writing. There is certainly a ton of information out there how to do it “right”, however I decided to trust my intuition and learn as I go along. My intention is that what I write about will be the outward expression of inner journey and to allow my inner-most thoughts to flow out freely is admittingly still a huge learning process for me.
I believe there comes a time for all of us in our lives where we start to express more and more of who we are and what we think, feel and desire and if that happens, we are one step closer to take on our role as creators and become more comfortable with authenticity. My tagline in Flow & Balance is “Living and Leading from your true self” and I have chosen it mostly because of my own experiences in struggling to understand who I really am, what I want out of life and then having the courage to follow-through on what I believe is right, going beyond social conditioning and expectations. Without a doubt, it can be painful at times … yet if we want to make a difference in this world, listening to own heart and establishing our own ground-rules for life are essential ingredients.
Only yesterday, I experienced first-hand that the process of discovering one’s true self can be challenging. I had asked my partner John to review a self-reflective report I have had to submit as part of a Training program I am attending. As he was looking through the content, a few words and messages jumped out at him. We discussed his impressions and as we were talking (he was actually coaching me!), we got to deeper & deeper places. I used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) during the conversation and I dare to say that it allowed me to unblock some major experiences I had. For me it had to do with Trust, Safety and Control and while I thought I have dealt with it a long time ago, memory fragments from the past kept coming up (thanks to the subconscious mind!) and tears were rolling freely. It was a classic reminder for me that while I consciously made a decision to move ahead and manifest what I desire, subconsciously I allowed past experiences to hold me back. Through the conversation with John, he made me realize that unless I let go of the need to feel safe, trust-worthy and in control, new opportunities cannot emerge. We talked about how many times in my life I was already able to do this successfully and it dawned on me that I was actually in a major transition myself at this moment. And as long as I did not recognize it for what it is, I wouldn’t know what new & old resources I would require and what experience patterns to shift.
So, here I was, thinking I could just transit to a new place easily and effortlessly (since I had it all planned in my head for such a long time) and ignoring the misalignments in myself. You probably would say, “how come I thought she is a Coach, shouldn’t she know better and doesn’t SHE help people in transitions?” I believe, we are all human beings and we are often “seeing” when it comes to others and “blind” when it comes to oneself. Sometimes we do need external support, somebody who holds up a mirror and shows us the beautiful, ugly and unfinished sides of ourselves until we understand and are able to make new choices consciously.
And this is exactly part of my reason why I wanted to become a Coach, because it enables me to be there for others in times of transitions, when the going gets tough and we need honest reflections and reminders of our strengths.
I am lucky to have a partner who has always been very supportive. During the last 6 years, this is the 3rd major change and transition we have been going through together and each time we are both faced with very different learning’s. Sometimes it seems that what I have too little, he has too much and visa versa. It is an interesting constellation with many intense moments to learn from.
Before I end for today, I just wanted to make one important distinction in case you wonder about the differences between change and transitions. In my view, all transitions involve change, but change itself is not transition. Change occurs in the outer world while transition occurs in the inner. The challenge is to gracefully work and move through the emotions during times of change and knowing how to capitalize or leverage them positively.
Our whole life is actually a never-ending cycle of change. Seasons come and go. Beings are born and they die. Seeds are planted, they grow, they come to fruition and die. Plants and animals live and die in an unending cycle. This is a natural process and what happens in our lives is very similar. We are here to learn, create, enjoy, let go and move on – until we are ready to return where we came from.
How we want to move through each of the different phases and stages within one phase, is a decision we have to make again and again. We can deny, refuse, struggle, understand, accept, learn, realize, internalize and align. The choice is ours!
Maybe it is useful to start thinking about your own changes & transitions in life and what did you learn from them about yourself. I hope the following questions are a starting point. If you have any thoughts or insights, I would love to hear from you: vanessa@inflowandbalance.com.
•What are the major milestones / changes in my life that helped me to evolve & grow?
•How did I feel when I was going through them?
•What did I feel / think / do that helped me to transit gracefully and successfully? What can I learn from this? What does this tell me about myself?
•Where am I currently in the seasons of life? What “header” would I give my life at this moment?
•How am I feeling about it?
•Is there anything I would like to change about it?
•If yes, what changes do I want?
•How can I prepare myself for it – mentally, emotionally, habitual?
•Will I need support? Where will I be going to get support, encouragement and honest feedback?
•What will I do next?
Have a great week,
Vanessa
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
(Self-)reflection & The Subconscious Mind
Dear all,
How have you been? What has happened the last two weeks that kept your attention? What positive things did you learn and experience? What lessons did you have to learn? What does that tell you in the bigger frame of things – about yourself, about your habits, about your wants / needs / shadows and the choices you make? What would you like to keep doing? What would you like to stop doing or change? Why has this become important to you right now and not later or earlier? How do you feel about yourself, others, the world? What else is there that you may not have paid attention to? …
These are some of the questions I have started to ask myself on a regular basis as I ventured onto my path of self-discovery and personal development. Since I have started Coaching, I can say that I am getting better at tuning into myself and revisit frequently what is going on inside & outside of me and whether I act in line with these thoughts or whether there is a tension between I feel and what I do. And if so, allow myself to explore the underlying reasons for it.
Time for regular reflection is one of the best investments you can give to yourself.
People use different methods for self-reflection that can range from meditation, prayer, journaling, diary writing, shadow work, conversation with friends & mentors, I-Ging reading, taro cards, angel card reading, dreams to guided visualization techniques and I believe there are many more. Since I talked about the subconscious mind in the last blog, I wanted to explore a little further today how we can access the subconscious mind for better self-reflection and to understand “what is REALLY going on”. Isn’t it true that we if we would listen to feedback from our bodies, feelings, hunches, dreams, re-occuring thought patterns during self-talk and actions taken, we would always know what to change for the better?
The tragic of modern life is that we have forgotten to pay attention to ourselves and are not making enough time to find out more about the feedback we are getting. We are never a victim of external circumstances, but a victim of our own personal belief and expectation system. And as a matter of fact most of our beliefs are stored in the subconscious mind – to address them, we need to access them and become aware of them. So, how do we do that?
I believe that if we enter an altered state of consciousness (meaning your brain waves operate at a slower rate (alpha, theta, delta) than in an awakened state) which you can access through hypnosis, day-dreaming, visualization, meditation or with dreams at night etc., there is a greater chance of coming closer to the “truth”. Truth could mean understanding the root cause of a challenge you are facing, it could mean unearthing a particular belief and understanding where it came from, but it can also mean to find positive resources or a past memory that can be of help at this particular time for us. The more we train and allow our mind to go there, the easier it is to access this information.
In my Coaching I like to make use of this altered state of consciousness by getting my coaches into a relaxed state and by using visualization as well as body-mind experiences through certain NLP processes. I found this much more effective than just a cognitive reflection or exploration of the challenge or goal at hand. The reflection and learning’s a coachee has at this level are usually deeper and bring him / her closer to the “truth” and core essence. If the mind is quieted and a shift of awareness happens, self-awareness and transformation becomes easier. However, not all coachee’s are ready to go there from Day 1 and timing and allowing the coachee to build up his /her trust towards the process and the Coach are important prerequisites.
But how can YOU go there and experiment with (self-) reflection on this level, if you do not have a Coach? I was thinking about my own methods and I would like to share 3. If they are applied over time, they can become a wonderful guidance and source of inputs to the question of “what is really going on” on a deeper level.
1. Remembering Your Dreams
Before you go to sleep, set an intention for yourself to remember the dream you are about to have.
Ask a specific question about a problem and ask for the dream to help you.
Keep a journal and pen at your bedside table.
When you wake up, try not to move. Staying in one position wiyll help the dream stay present.
Ask yourself is you were dreaming.
Gently pull the images back in, review the dream in your mind’s eye.
Take a few notes right away and don’t wait till morning. Then review the dream and ask yourself:
i. What are the feelings you are most aware of in your dream?
ii. How are these feelings like any other feelings you have in waking life?
iii. Describe XX (an important aspect of your dream).
iv. What part of you is like X?
v. What is X like?
vi. How is this something in your waking life?
vii. What is the central theme in your dream?
viii. Does the theme remind you of anything in your waking life?
ix. What was that time of your life like? How is this like now?
Answer the questions in your dream journal and keep them as a guide.
2. Soul-centering Exercise (based on Dr. Phillip & Jane Mountrose; www.gettingthru.org)
The key here is to relax, disconnect from the active, rational mind and connect with receptive side of your nature.
Take a moment and focus on an issue that you would like to address as you connect with the energy of your soul and higher self.
Read the following process and follow:
As you start to read this process and prepare to relax, take a few deep breaths and feel the tension beginning to melt from your body. Fill your lungs completely with pure, clear air with each inhale and allow the tension to continue to release with each exhale, so that with each breath, you feel more and more relaxed and your body becomes lighter, allowing the tension to drift down through your arms, legs and feet and into the earth. Imagine that you have a grounding cord from the base of your spine and widen it out so whatever you are releasing can melt down into the earth.
Now bring clear energy into your mind with each inhale, so all of the cells of your brain can relax and your mind becomes more and more clear with each breath. And allow the clear energy to move down so that your entire head is relaxed, traveling down your neck and shoulders now, and allowing all of the organs in your body to relax. Now allow a wave of clear energy and relaxation to move gently down your arms, all the way down to the tips of your fingers. And feel another wave of relaxation moving down your spine to your legs and feet, travelling all the way to the tips of your toes, so your entire body is relaxed and filled with clear, pure energy. You may want to stop reading for a moment and focus on relaxing your entire body, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.
As you continue, begin to focus your breath on the area around your heart, where your soul connects with your body. Imagine that you are sending pure energy into this area, so that with each breath, there is more and more energy there and, as you continue breathing, you can feel the energy intensifying so it may seem like there is a ball of light around your heart. Allow this ball of light to become brighter and brighter, radiating its energy out in all directions, so that you feel yourself completely surrounded by the energy and you can feel this energy permeate every cell of your body with its beautiful light. As you do this, if any pain comes up in your heart, simply allow the pain to come out into your awareness and ask the breath to release it. Letting go of this pain will help you to completely embrace the love you hold in your heart. You may want to stop reading again for a moment and focus on experiencing the energy of your soul in your heart and radiating out around you.
Now you can shift your focus to the area just above your head and imagine that there is another light there. As you imagine it there, allow this light to begin to pour down through the top of your head and fill your entire body, so that you can see and feel yourself filled with this light all the way down to the tips of your fingers and the tips of your toes. As it becomes brighter and brighter, it overflows so that you are completely surrounded with this light and you can feel yourself in perfect harmony and balance with everything that is around you. You can also feel the energy of all of the others who are building this connection and allow it to help you to strengthen the experience for you. Take a moment now to feel this harmony and how you are connected with all that is.
From this place of peace, you can ask for guidance about any problem you may be experiencing. This is especially useful if you focused on a problem before starting the process and can recall how it felt to you then. You should find that your perspective is different than it was before. From this place of clarity, you can bring in new levels of awareness to help you in any aspect of your life. If you are focusing on a problem, you may want to stop reading for a moment and view it from this higher perspective.
As a note, if you were not able to fully experience the energy of your soul, just continue to work with this process and focus on releasing any painful emotions that come up. You will notice a shift as you release the emotions and open to the loving energy of your soul.
Now it is time to shift your awareness back to the present time and feel yourself where you are, sitting or lying down, making note of your body’s position. And, as you breathe, allow your breath to bring you back to your normal waking state, feeling alert and alive. As you prepare to go off to other activities, make sure that you are grounded with the cord that extends from the base of your spine to the center of the earth.
3. Glass of Water technique (based on SILVA Program)
This technique is works well if you need information, guidance and a deeper understanding.
Prepare a full glass of water.
Close your eyes and connect with your body and intention.
With your eyes closed, ask a specific question you have in mind (e.g. “What is holding me back to do xxx?”) and drink ½ of the water.
Put the ½ remainder away, go to bed and sleep. If you got the answer in your dream, say thanks and drink the remaining water in the morning.
If you did not get the answer yet, drink the remaining water first thing in the morning and belief that you will get the answer within the next 3 days.
It is a mental technique and as it works better over time as your level of confidence in this technique increases.
It works because “water” is actually programmed to serve as a reminder of human intelligence to keep searching for the necessary information.
Enjoy your experiments and let me know if you have any questions or just want to share your experiences vanessa@inflowandbalance.com.
Remember what Carl Jung once said:
“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
Till next time,
Vanessa
How have you been? What has happened the last two weeks that kept your attention? What positive things did you learn and experience? What lessons did you have to learn? What does that tell you in the bigger frame of things – about yourself, about your habits, about your wants / needs / shadows and the choices you make? What would you like to keep doing? What would you like to stop doing or change? Why has this become important to you right now and not later or earlier? How do you feel about yourself, others, the world? What else is there that you may not have paid attention to? …
These are some of the questions I have started to ask myself on a regular basis as I ventured onto my path of self-discovery and personal development. Since I have started Coaching, I can say that I am getting better at tuning into myself and revisit frequently what is going on inside & outside of me and whether I act in line with these thoughts or whether there is a tension between I feel and what I do. And if so, allow myself to explore the underlying reasons for it.
Time for regular reflection is one of the best investments you can give to yourself.
People use different methods for self-reflection that can range from meditation, prayer, journaling, diary writing, shadow work, conversation with friends & mentors, I-Ging reading, taro cards, angel card reading, dreams to guided visualization techniques and I believe there are many more. Since I talked about the subconscious mind in the last blog, I wanted to explore a little further today how we can access the subconscious mind for better self-reflection and to understand “what is REALLY going on”. Isn’t it true that we if we would listen to feedback from our bodies, feelings, hunches, dreams, re-occuring thought patterns during self-talk and actions taken, we would always know what to change for the better?
The tragic of modern life is that we have forgotten to pay attention to ourselves and are not making enough time to find out more about the feedback we are getting. We are never a victim of external circumstances, but a victim of our own personal belief and expectation system. And as a matter of fact most of our beliefs are stored in the subconscious mind – to address them, we need to access them and become aware of them. So, how do we do that?
I believe that if we enter an altered state of consciousness (meaning your brain waves operate at a slower rate (alpha, theta, delta) than in an awakened state) which you can access through hypnosis, day-dreaming, visualization, meditation or with dreams at night etc., there is a greater chance of coming closer to the “truth”. Truth could mean understanding the root cause of a challenge you are facing, it could mean unearthing a particular belief and understanding where it came from, but it can also mean to find positive resources or a past memory that can be of help at this particular time for us. The more we train and allow our mind to go there, the easier it is to access this information.
In my Coaching I like to make use of this altered state of consciousness by getting my coaches into a relaxed state and by using visualization as well as body-mind experiences through certain NLP processes. I found this much more effective than just a cognitive reflection or exploration of the challenge or goal at hand. The reflection and learning’s a coachee has at this level are usually deeper and bring him / her closer to the “truth” and core essence. If the mind is quieted and a shift of awareness happens, self-awareness and transformation becomes easier. However, not all coachee’s are ready to go there from Day 1 and timing and allowing the coachee to build up his /her trust towards the process and the Coach are important prerequisites.
But how can YOU go there and experiment with (self-) reflection on this level, if you do not have a Coach? I was thinking about my own methods and I would like to share 3. If they are applied over time, they can become a wonderful guidance and source of inputs to the question of “what is really going on” on a deeper level.
1. Remembering Your Dreams
Before you go to sleep, set an intention for yourself to remember the dream you are about to have.
Ask a specific question about a problem and ask for the dream to help you.
Keep a journal and pen at your bedside table.
When you wake up, try not to move. Staying in one position wiyll help the dream stay present.
Ask yourself is you were dreaming.
Gently pull the images back in, review the dream in your mind’s eye.
Take a few notes right away and don’t wait till morning. Then review the dream and ask yourself:
i. What are the feelings you are most aware of in your dream?
ii. How are these feelings like any other feelings you have in waking life?
iii. Describe XX (an important aspect of your dream).
iv. What part of you is like X?
v. What is X like?
vi. How is this something in your waking life?
vii. What is the central theme in your dream?
viii. Does the theme remind you of anything in your waking life?
ix. What was that time of your life like? How is this like now?
Answer the questions in your dream journal and keep them as a guide.
2. Soul-centering Exercise (based on Dr. Phillip & Jane Mountrose; www.gettingthru.org)
The key here is to relax, disconnect from the active, rational mind and connect with receptive side of your nature.
Take a moment and focus on an issue that you would like to address as you connect with the energy of your soul and higher self.
Read the following process and follow:
As you start to read this process and prepare to relax, take a few deep breaths and feel the tension beginning to melt from your body. Fill your lungs completely with pure, clear air with each inhale and allow the tension to continue to release with each exhale, so that with each breath, you feel more and more relaxed and your body becomes lighter, allowing the tension to drift down through your arms, legs and feet and into the earth. Imagine that you have a grounding cord from the base of your spine and widen it out so whatever you are releasing can melt down into the earth.
Now bring clear energy into your mind with each inhale, so all of the cells of your brain can relax and your mind becomes more and more clear with each breath. And allow the clear energy to move down so that your entire head is relaxed, traveling down your neck and shoulders now, and allowing all of the organs in your body to relax. Now allow a wave of clear energy and relaxation to move gently down your arms, all the way down to the tips of your fingers. And feel another wave of relaxation moving down your spine to your legs and feet, travelling all the way to the tips of your toes, so your entire body is relaxed and filled with clear, pure energy. You may want to stop reading for a moment and focus on relaxing your entire body, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.
As you continue, begin to focus your breath on the area around your heart, where your soul connects with your body. Imagine that you are sending pure energy into this area, so that with each breath, there is more and more energy there and, as you continue breathing, you can feel the energy intensifying so it may seem like there is a ball of light around your heart. Allow this ball of light to become brighter and brighter, radiating its energy out in all directions, so that you feel yourself completely surrounded by the energy and you can feel this energy permeate every cell of your body with its beautiful light. As you do this, if any pain comes up in your heart, simply allow the pain to come out into your awareness and ask the breath to release it. Letting go of this pain will help you to completely embrace the love you hold in your heart. You may want to stop reading again for a moment and focus on experiencing the energy of your soul in your heart and radiating out around you.
Now you can shift your focus to the area just above your head and imagine that there is another light there. As you imagine it there, allow this light to begin to pour down through the top of your head and fill your entire body, so that you can see and feel yourself filled with this light all the way down to the tips of your fingers and the tips of your toes. As it becomes brighter and brighter, it overflows so that you are completely surrounded with this light and you can feel yourself in perfect harmony and balance with everything that is around you. You can also feel the energy of all of the others who are building this connection and allow it to help you to strengthen the experience for you. Take a moment now to feel this harmony and how you are connected with all that is.
From this place of peace, you can ask for guidance about any problem you may be experiencing. This is especially useful if you focused on a problem before starting the process and can recall how it felt to you then. You should find that your perspective is different than it was before. From this place of clarity, you can bring in new levels of awareness to help you in any aspect of your life. If you are focusing on a problem, you may want to stop reading for a moment and view it from this higher perspective.
As a note, if you were not able to fully experience the energy of your soul, just continue to work with this process and focus on releasing any painful emotions that come up. You will notice a shift as you release the emotions and open to the loving energy of your soul.
Now it is time to shift your awareness back to the present time and feel yourself where you are, sitting or lying down, making note of your body’s position. And, as you breathe, allow your breath to bring you back to your normal waking state, feeling alert and alive. As you prepare to go off to other activities, make sure that you are grounded with the cord that extends from the base of your spine to the center of the earth.
3. Glass of Water technique (based on SILVA Program)
This technique is works well if you need information, guidance and a deeper understanding.
Prepare a full glass of water.
Close your eyes and connect with your body and intention.
With your eyes closed, ask a specific question you have in mind (e.g. “What is holding me back to do xxx?”) and drink ½ of the water.
Put the ½ remainder away, go to bed and sleep. If you got the answer in your dream, say thanks and drink the remaining water in the morning.
If you did not get the answer yet, drink the remaining water first thing in the morning and belief that you will get the answer within the next 3 days.
It is a mental technique and as it works better over time as your level of confidence in this technique increases.
It works because “water” is actually programmed to serve as a reminder of human intelligence to keep searching for the necessary information.
Enjoy your experiments and let me know if you have any questions or just want to share your experiences vanessa@inflowandbalance.com.
Remember what Carl Jung once said:
“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
Till next time,
Vanessa
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